Wednesday, 9 June 2004

At least pick a socialist who can write

A clunky new version of some classic prose via the C of E::
The more usual 'Give us this day our daily bread', from the Lord's Prayer, becomes: 'You are giving us our daily bread when we manage to get back our lands or get a fairer wage'.

'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.' has been removed from the 23rd Psalm in favour of 'Even if a full-scale violent confrontation breaks out I will not be afraid, Lord'.


George Orwell, in Politics and the English Language warned about this sort of thing:
Now that I have made this catalogue of swindles and perversions, let me give another example of the kind of writing that they lead to. This time it must of its nature be an imaginary one. I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:
I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Here it is in modern English:
Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

This is a parody, but not a very gross one. [...] It will be seen that I have not made a full translation. The beginning and ending of the sentence follow the original meaning fairly closely, but in the middle the concrete illustrations -- race, battle, bread -- dissolve into the vague phrases "success or failure in competitive activities." This had to be so, because no modern writer of the kind I am discussing -- no one capable of using phrases like "objective considerations of contemporary phenomena" -- would ever tabulate his thoughts in that precise and detailed way. The whole tendency of modern prose is away from concreteness.

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